PURPLE

Original date: May 13, 2018

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Oh what a wonderful day to be climbing in the rain!

Original date: March 18, 2018

There’s a mechanic in the game that if it is raining out, climbing becomes exceedingly more difficult, and you end up sliding down more than climbing up. So, here are some excerpts from my personal thought-narrative last night.

Hey, the tower I need to reach is at the top of this cliff, so I just need to climb up it. It’s sunny at the moment, so I’ll just run over this short distance and start to climb. Got there, starting to…. oh damn, now it’s raining.

Oh hey, I’m hang-gliding off the tower now, and want to get to that shrine on the side of that cliff. I won’t quite make it at that level, so will need to climb a bit, but fortunately it’s nice and sunny out! OK, gliding over… got to it… oh damn, now it’s raining.

Oh, getting across this river with my hang-glider will be easy! I just need to drift over and climb the last bit back up this cliff! And, it’s totally sunny and it’s a VERY SHORT distance so it won’t be raining by the time I get across! Right? Damn, no, I was wrong.

Switch need food badly

Original date: March 16, 2018

It has been a while since I have been able to play. I had a few weeks where memorizing my lines took much higher precedence over video games. But now that I am safely past that crunch, and am even at a gaming con for a relaxing weekend, I figured it is time to play again.

And that is how I discovered that the Switch runs out of juice, even when not in use.

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Milk.

Original post: February 12, 2018

I looked up recipes online and found that milk is a thing. Apparenty it’s possible to get milk at the first village you’re supposed to go to when off the Plateau (which, if you remember, I didn’t.)

OK, let’s go get some milk!

I teleport over to the nearest shrine, which isn’t so near, but not so far either. This is high enough up that I paraglide off towards the village, then climb about on some rocks a bit and am close to the villag..

Wait, why is the “There is a shrine nearby” noise going off?

OK, well, it’d be good to have a closer shrine to this place for teleportation reasons! Plus SQUIRREL, a shrine for more stamina!!!

So I hunt around and find the shrine, step into it…

It’s the shrine that teaches me how to fight.

I mean, I’ve been running around the wilderness trying to figure out how to fight, occasionally finding something new, but mostly running from monsters for how long now?

I found the shrine that teaches me how to fight.

OK, well, OK. At least this means now I get an easy quarter-stamina.

Once I’m done with my newfound fighting skills, I head into the village to get that milk… and find the dude who tells me to find the shrine to learn how to fight.

I never did get that milk.

The worst chef ever

Original date: February 8, 2018

So, y’all who know me probably know that my culinary skills are not the best. Possibly even the worst. OK.

So, in Zelda, you can cook things. I figure this is digital cooking, right? This means I should have a much easier time of picking up this skill. I learn how to hunt, and shoot down many a wolf and bird, pick up their meat, dutifully pick herbs and mushrooms from various places along the way. Great.

Now all I gotta do is combine them, right?

So I do my first cooking back when I was still on the plateau. There’s the cooking song that plays…. and I get “wah wah”, the sound of disappointment. My food is … not really edible but eat it anyway I am told. OK, well, it restores health so I do.

I work at this some more, and … I get a couple of dishes under my belt! Steamed meat and meat skewers! Great! This is wonderful, it’s .. at least edible!

So I work on collecting more herbs, rock salt, different kinds of meat.. hey, I just caught a fish!

I go back to the cooking dish. I get…

Steamed meat and meat skewers.

Uhm, OK.

Alright, so I wander around a lot more (btw, you may notice that a lot of what I do seems to be wandering around aimlessly in the wilderness). Hey, look, that’s a large beast! Is it… an elk? I shoot it down. PRIME MEAT it tells me! WOW! WONDER WHAT THIS WILL MAKE???

Steamed meat and meat skewers.

Hey, look, a snail!

Steamed meat and meat skewers.

OK, how about if I JUST toss in prime meat with 1 herb?

Steamed meat and meat skewers.

Crap.

So, apparently my culinary skills extend from my real life into my virtual one.