Participation trophies

Original date: December 27, 2018

After several months of not enough time to pick up a video game, I spent much of yesterday playing Zelda, MarioKart, and Pokemon: Let’s Play. In the 2 hours of playing Zelda, I managed to conquer 5 more shrines!

Although, it does help that 4 of those shrines were, “Hey, you made it! Here’s a trophy for just showing up!”


It’ll take a miracle

Original date: May 29, 2018

OK, I have all the Divine Beasts! I’ve even tried storming the castle just to check it out a few times already….




… I should really go find all the rest of the shrines first.

Dear Princess Zelda,

Original date: May 17, 2018

I’m sorry Princess Zelda. I know we have been through a lot in the past.. well, it seems to be inferred by many, I don’t actually remember this at all.. but apparently we have been through a lot. I know that you had helped me in those past times, again, I know this by inference, but I don’t really have any personal ties to these lost memories anymore. I also know that you are apparently stuck and imprisoned by some evil demonlord, which, again, I don’t actually remember much about.

But that all being said, I am sorry just the same. I have discovered that I am rather skilled at mining and horse thievery, and I am making a rather tidy profit at these ventures. I am thinking of buying a house I found for sale and just making it mine. I should be able to retire comfortably into this happy lifestyle.

I hope your next hero works better for you, and I wish you all the luck in your captivity.

Thank you,